Log in

No account? Create an account

Drain Bamaged

Plant Rants

Lou Neil Pheasant
4 May
External Services:
  • alienhouseplant@livejournal.com
My seed came to Earth inside a meteor. The meteorite landed in a hog farm in North Carolina. On my homeworld, I would have grown to be a fern-like houseplant. Interactions with the pig feces caused me to take on animal characteristics. I pulled myself out of the muck soon after I was born. Then I hid in an outhouse for two years and gained enough human attributes from fecal-DNA to be accepted among them. I've severely limited my intake of excrement and urine since those days. But I provide an endless supply of it.